Beginninngs

Lily has very little memory of her mother. She actually says that the only memory she has is of the day she died, December 3, 1954. I find it interesting that her most profound memory is a memory of smell. My daddy died when I was 13. That was almost 41 years ago. I knew him longer than Lily knew her mother, and we have lots of pictures. Still, my strongest memory also is the way he smelled. My daddy was a mechanic, and even though my mother laundered his clothes, it still retained a hint of that smell of grease. I remember standing with him in front of the gas heater in the colder mornings and hugging him after he had his uniform on. That's what he smelled like, washing powders with a hint of the grease that he lubbed the cars with. When I concentrate, I can still smell it.

Lily remembers her mother's smell and looks for it diligently until she discovers from her teacher (who smells the same) that what she is smelling is Ponds Cold Creme. After going in to the store and smelling all the fragrances there, it is as simple as that. It is also quite poignant when she finds the one picture of her mother, and the old gloves her mother had worn. Putting them on her hands is almost like touching those hands. It is even more moving when she fills the gloves with cotton and holds them all night long. It's as if she is sleeping with her mother, holding her hands.

Odd things made her miss her mom: training bras, junior cheerleader tryouts, and when she got her period at age 12. For a girl, these are coming of age moments, and it is difficult if you have to move through them alone. The fact that her father is very self-centered, and shows no compassion or love for his daughter makes the longing for her mother even more profound.

Another thing that I can really relate to is Lily's "Pentecostal" clothes. Although I didn't make my own clothes, my mother made them. I remember standing there as she hemmed my dresses.....made to hit me right in the middle of my knee. I wasn't allowed to wear pants, and I too might as well have worn a sign on my back saying, "I AM NOT POPULAR AND NEVER WILL BE." During the sixties and seventies, it wasn't easy being a young girl and a teen-ager. I couldn't wear make-up, cut my hair, wear anything sleeveless, and the list goes on. On top of that, the fact that I wanted to do these things carried a weight of gilt that I'd want to be so "worldly." I totally understand these feelings.

Sue Monk Kidd is a contemporary African American author who did grow up in the sixties. She makes mention in the very first chapter of things that were currently going on in those times. While anyone can do research and write about a time, having lived in that era, and being that age helps her to give an account that is very believeable. When Johnson signed the Civil Rights Act on July 2, 1964, the law was finally changed to support equal rights for the black race in America. Passing a law during that time was just a beginning in the South. Things did happen to southerners, black and white, who supported this act. The law just laid the groundwork that would allow the South to change, but it most definitely did not guarantee anything.

Although I was a bit younger than Lily, I can still remember the political upheaval and unrest that was going on. I remember my parents driving to a Ku Klux Klan outside meeting and we sat in the car to see what they were doing. There was a huge cross sitting behind the platform, and they lit that before we left. My parents didn't get out of the car, but they were young and curious, so they loaded me and my sister into the car in our pajamas and went to watch.

I also remember separate water fountains in the Winn Dixie, which we called "Quick Check," back then. I remember when my elementary school went from being segregated to integrated. All of these things were going on during my first years in elementary school, and I heard my parents talk about voting for Barry Goldwater, and other things that were happening at that time.

So Sue Monk Kidd's observations of the time rings very authentic and true. It was a time of change in our country, but especially in the South. To have change, there is much upheaval and that is what Lily is experiencing. Of course, in some ways she relates to the black people. She has only know love from Rosaleen and that is where you turn. It seems that Rosaleen is the only one to show Lily love. Is it no wonder that Lily will find peace and harmony in the house of three black women?